Another year is upon us. 2018 is in the books. Hello, 2019!! 2018 was an excellent year for me–I hit a milestone age, I opened my own group practice Brighter Hope Wellness Center, and made some important family moves. I am happy to take this time to reflect back on a few habits I am okay with leaving behind in 2018. And I hope you will be leaving them behind, too.
Not just me, right? We all have times where we question what we are doing, challenge whether we are capable of doing something, or have doubts of whether what we are doing is too big. And it can be a good thing, right? “I don’t know if I can do this.” “What happens if this goes horrible wrong?” The problem is that self-doubt is a little bit more than questioning the appropriateness of a decision for you. When you engage self-doubt you are calling into question yourself. You are directing negative thoughts toward yourself. So let’s leave self-doubt in 2018.
In 2019, let’s try thoughts of, “Does this task fit with my strengths and goals?” It shifts your thoughts to focus on the wonderful traits you bring to each situation.
Let me share a little secret with you…I am horrible at accepting compliments. Horrible. Just bad. I’ve learned to not blush (usually) but I still smile awkwardly, avert my eyes, and turn my head away. And more often than not I will make a self-deprecating comment. Merriam-Webster defines self-deprecating as “tending or serving to disparage or undervalue oneself“. While making such comments is usually funny, it is not exactly a positive thing.
Surely I am not the only one. Some of my closest friends are pretty awesome at self-deprecation, too. Probably why we like each other. In session with clients self-deprecating statements are made when they say things like, “I’m not good at______.” or “That was really stupid of me to say______.” So self-deprecating comments can also reveal persistent, underlying struggles with self-esteem.
In 2019, let’s try thoughts and statements of, “Thank you. That was very nice of you to say.” Or, “I’m working on being more careful with my words/actions.”
I need every last one of my friends to stop laughing at me right now…yes, overthinking and analyzing every last possibility is as much a part of me as my name is. Don’t have me ordering something off of Amazon. I will literally have no fewer than 4 tabs of different brands for a product and will toggle between the tabs weighing the best option. For a while. I refuse to say how long this goes on because your laughter will turn to horror.
But I know, I am not the only one. Overthinking can stem from a fear in making the “wrong” choice or worry about being able to navigate the consequences of making the “wrong” choice. (Notice how I put the word wrong in quotation marks. That will be a blog post for a different day.) My clients tend to report a strong fear and therefore avoidance of making decisions that would lead to a negative outcome. They often don’t realize their own abilities to navigate challenging times in their lives.
In 2019, let’s try thoughts of “I can handle the situation regardless of the outcome.” Or simply, “Reclaiming my time!!” Make the decision. Move on to the next one.
I hope you are just as excited for the new year as I am. There is so much I would like to accomplish this year. I hope you check in with me I will be talking about ways to help you live 2019 in a way that brings you mental, emotional, and physical wellness. Because, of course I want to help you live your life BRIGHTER!! 😉
Head over to my recent blog post on the Brighter Hope Wellness Center website to read about some positive habits to make for 2019.
Keep track of your goals for 2019 using the new Brighter Planner(TM) for sale online on the Brighter Hope Wellness Center store website!!